I never have really thought about it much before, but I order kids around a lot. I'm sure that I've always done it, but it was amplified by my year of teaching 7th and 8th grade English. I just got into the habit of shushing kids and telling them to sit down whether they were in school or not. I couldn't even walk into a mall.
I guess that I know that I boss young people, but what I've recently realized is that I rarely follow the same code of conduct that I expect of them. 
For example, last week Ethan and I were jumping on the trampoline trying to pop a regular-sized water balloon that Matt and Jill had filled with water. We couldn't seem to break it and it was really hot so I went inside and got a popsicle. There I was bouncing up and down dripping melted popsicle all over everything, trying to dodge a volleyball sized water bomb. The balloon finally popped and we were soaked. I jumped off into the grass and looked down to see that my shirt was covered with little red speckles. If Ethan had even thought of trying to get near the tramp with a popsicle I wouldn't have stood for it. I would have told him that it was going to get everything sticky and that he could choke on it. I didn't choke, but I did get everything, and everyone, really sticky.
For example, last week Ethan and I were jumping on the trampoline trying to pop a regular-sized water balloon that Matt and Jill had filled with water. We couldn't seem to break it and it was really hot so I went inside and got a popsicle. There I was bouncing up and down dripping melted popsicle all over everything, trying to dodge a volleyball sized water bomb. The balloon finally popped and we were soaked. I jumped off into the grass and looked down to see that my shirt was covered with little red speckles. If Ethan had even thought of trying to get near the tramp with a popsicle I wouldn't have stood for it. I would have told him that it was going to get everything sticky and that he could choke on it. I didn't choke, but I did get everything, and everyone, really sticky. 
It was kind of like that with my students. They would be covertly (they thought) talking and trying to write notes to each other during the lesson and I would lecture them about respect. Then, later that day I would be in a faculty meeting whispering, and giggling with Brandon and our other teacher friends. The only difference between my bad behavior, and that of the students is that I wasn't even trying to hide it.
The more I think about it, the worse it gets. For example, when we were camping I told Ethan that he couldn't have any more cookies because they were going to make his tummy hurt. I'm sure I said it while in the process of reaching for another cookie for myself. I was awake half the night listening to the protests of my own digestive system which was trying to deal with the variety of sweets and junk food that I had dumped on it.
I don't know what it is about getting older that made me think that the kid rules no longer applied to me. I eat as much candy as I want. I stay up late, go outside barefoot, pick my nose, and sometimes I say a cuss word, and I do it without a single worry that I'll be reprimanded.
I know I'd be a lot better off if I just followed some of the high expectations that I put on children. I would eat more vegetables, spend more time outside excercising, get all of my chores done before playing, and treat everyone as if they were friends.
I think that I'm always bossing kids around because I don't think they are developmentally ready to make good choices for themselves. I wonder if I'll ever be developmentally ready to make good choices for myself.
In the mean time I will still warn poor little Ethan about the ill effects of too much sugar, and try to take a little of my own advice.
1 comment:
Wow, that hit home on so many levels
Post a Comment