The Swedish Fish: May 2018

Rocky is 10!

For the first time in her life I wasn't with my Rockstar on her birthday. It is a special anniversary for me because this little girl made me a mom. She is empathetic, kind, and charming. I don't know how I would survive without her because she is such a great leader for her siblings and friend to me. She loves to organize projects, cook, read, run, and eat Ramen Noodles. She always wants to hang out with the adults and chat and if she isn't talking or reading she wants to be watching a movie. She is a sucker for a good story. She is opinionated about politics and not afraid to stand up for her personal ideas and values. She speaks Spanish with a beautiful accent and wants to be friends with everyone. Watching her grow and make sense of the world these 10 years has been a privilege. Happy Birthday Rocky!

Tillamook Burn 50K

One night in December around 10 PM I returned from a lovely time at book club and found a text on my phone from Heather. It basically said, The Tillamook 50K is filling up. If you want to sign up you should do it now.
I was in such a cheerful mood after a couple of hours of chatting with amazing women so I started to consider it. Brandon was super supportive of the idea so after 5 minutes of thinking I got on the computer and signed myself up.
I didn't get nervous until a week or so later when Heather sent me a copy of her training plan. The weekly mileage started at 32 and over a few months built all the way up to 56 miles. When I looked at it I burst into tears.
But, one by one with the support of my family and my running buddies I checked one workout off the list at a time. We met on rainy, freezing, dark mornings and wore our headlamps and we also enjoyed beautiful sunny days on the trails. We ran on the road and up the buttes. We laughed a lot, and we definitely hurt. We told stories and talked each other through our deepest fears. Sometimes I had to go alone and sometimes I pushed Ike in the stroller. I learned about different fueling plans and anti-chafing gels. I was sore and tired and felt so proud of how strong my mind and body could be.
I found so much joy in spending time outside in beautiful spaces and in the well earned tiredness of my muscles.
I loved it.
The race was gorgeous. It was so hard. It was so long. And it was so much fun.

Tillamook Cheese Factory

Cape Kiwanda

I was so sad to retire these shoes. They have fought the good fight and deserve a heroes welcome in wherever good shoes go after they have run their last mile.

Brandon took the kids to Utah for Hayden's wedding so I was left in Eugene on my own for 2 whole days. It has been a lovely adventure being alone. Mostly I have just wasted it binge watching TV and reading. I walked over to Hideaway Bakery. Some places are just special and this is one of them.

I was saved from solitary by sweet friends and we had an adventurous meal at Market of Choice.

Running a race like that puts you in a reflective mood and I just feel so grateful for my life. I keep saying that this period of time that we are living in Eugene again is like a bonus level in a video game. I am like Mario running around grabbing gold coins. My pockets are full of golden memories of food, family, friends, and one beautiful city.

One Bad Day that was Maybe Actually Good After All

Thursday was a nightmare of a day. Ike and I had a hundred errands to run, the girls had dentist and doctor appointments, we did our shopping, and ate on the go. I was tearing through traffic with a minivan full of kids trying to get Daisy to her class play on time. When we finally got there 5 minutes after the program had started my hair was in a wild mess and I was stinky with sweat. I wanted to sit down and cry. Brandon was there to meet me and he gave me a big hug.
And then the play was adorable.
I only have 2 pictures of that horrible 12 hours and they both make me smile.
The errands and red lights I ran are already fading out of memory but this look on Daisy's face I hope to remember forever.

A Charmed Life

I am not the only one in this world that has a preoccupation with the future. Sometimes I get so nervous about things to come that I forget to look around at what is happening right now. I worry about our upcoming move and all the transitions ahead of us and sometimes it feels like chaos. But the more I focus on the present the more I recognize the true joy in the day to day business of living.

It is especially true as I realize how quickly these babies grow. Right now Ike wants to spend every afternoon playing with his Star Wars toys and play dough. It will change some day, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't lovely while it lasted.

My friend that is in the Primary Presidency sent me this photo of Rosy. She thought she was so clever holding the stop sign up for the whole song. I love the look on her face.

These face masks are terrifying.

So overalls are a thing again? Daisy is rocking them anyway.

This is me, hiding on the porch. I was literally hiding from my kids. They were all inside and safe. I was close enough that I would hear any big problems but far enough away that I could take a few breaths and be alone to calm down. I had to leave because Rosy and I were in the midst of a 2 hour hunger strike. She was upset because I put mustard on the wrong side of the sandwich. She didn't want the pickles and mustard touching.
I am willing to concede many things to my strong willed 5 year old vegetarian but I wasn't going to budge on this. If she had not wanted mustard I would have made her a new sandwich but this was too much. So she swore she would never eat again.

She sat in the corner screamed and I hid myself outside. But right around 2 hours and 5 minutes she calmed right down. She sat next to me and ate the whole sandwich, and she even liked it. I would consider it a victory but really who won? We both just wasted 2 hours of life. If I were to rewind I probably would have just made a new sandwich and kept the peace.